Building pride
I was talking with a mixed straight-gay group of friends the other evening about how important being accepted by others is to positive self-esteem and identity, especially when you're a minority. A Jewish friend was saying how he thought places like the Sydney Jewish Muesum sent Jewish and non-Jewish people a positive message that Jewish people are a valued part of modern Australia. To some this might seem obvious, but I think it's naive to imagine that everyone sees the religious and cultural diversity that exists in this country as positive. I think the same thing goes for sexual diversity in Australia even more so.
The reason I say even more so is that self-esteem issues are a problem for queer people in a way that is different - and worse - to people who are from a different cultural or religious group. The reason is simple. Someone who is Muslim, might not feel that society generally accepts and values their identity. But generally, a young Australian-Muslim will grow up in an Australian-Muslim family. And family - parents in particularly - are key to helping us build our self-esteem in who we are, and teaching us how to cope when we face rejection because of that. So an Australian-Muslim parent is going to comfort their kid when they're getting teased and teach them that there's nothing to be ashamed for being Muslim - this is a very powerful way of protecting a child and teaching them positive self-esteem about who they are. Because the parents of the child can empathise with their child, this tends to come naturally. This unfortunately does not come naturally to many parents of queer children when, say, their child's teased for being queer. This could be because the queer son or daughter is not ready to come out, and so everyone assumes they're straight and there's no opportunity for the child to share their feelings. Or it could be that child might want to talk about who they are but they know their parents would not want to know that they are gay. It's pretty obvious that in these all-too-common circumstances a queer child is not going to share with their parents their feelings. Thus the chances are slim of a young queer person getting a positive message at home about who they are. While it is changing, it's still the case that the vast majority of young gay people do not have their identity positively reinforced growing up in a straight family the way a person from cultural or religious minority would. Of course, one of the best ways to deal with this is to directly address homophobia in the communities so that parents do not 'expect' their children to be straight. Another way is to legitimise queer people by telling our stories and sharing our history. Which brings me back to my reference at the start to the Jewish Museum. Sydney, and Australia more broady, needs a Gay Museum. This place should address the myth that gay people are a recent phenomenon by filling in the pages of history from which queer people's identity's has been erased. It should describe the struggle for recognition and the fight for equal rights - ongoing as the discriminatory marriage laws demontstrate! It should describe queer culture in all its colour and share the stories of famous and important queers who have enriched the lives of all Australian. What all this would do is say unequivocally that queer people are real, have always been around, have made enormously positive contributions to society and deserve to be recognised as all equal to all other Australians. It might even give some queer kids who go there on a school excursion the confidence to hold up their head in pride, face their detractors, and even come out. Such a place would be a very powerful symbol, for queer and straight people alike.
Posted
by Michael
